Helping Kids Listen: What You Need To Know



When I give my parenting classes, I noticed there is one thing that most parents want to know: How do I get my kids to listen?

In my home, whenever I see my kids doing what they are not supposed to do and not listening, I have to hold myself back. I just want to start accusing and blaming. That is my instinctive reaction. If I slip up and give in to my natural impulses, I usually get a lot of defensiveness, anger and disrespectful behavior.

Why am I telling you this? Because I know that the way I approach my kids makes all the difference in whether they will listen or not. It is my tone, my demeanor, my language that can make or break the situation. I know it is a big responsibility and sometimes I wish it was not so, but it all starts with my attitude.

One of the many jobs that we have as parents is to learn ways to talk to our kids so that they can listen to us. We need to also train kids to listen to us. Kids aren’t robots, they can’t just listen on demand.

One of the ways that we can do that is to talk to our kids in a calm and neutral manner. This can go a long way in helping our kids listen. It also helps us avoid power struggles and negativity.

Here is what I mean:

For example:

I want to say:
You guys are impossible! Just pick a video already!
I try to say:
Time is short. A video needs to be decided on now.

I want to say:
Why does everything always have to be such a problem!
I try to say:
You seem to be upset about how things are run in the house. I want to hear all about it. Let’s think of a time to sit down and talk about it.

I want to say:
“How many times do I have to tell you to turn the lights off?”
I try to say:
“How can we make sure the lights will be turned off before you leave?”

Communicating with our kids can be tricky but there are ways to help our kids listen. Learning to speak to our children in this way will get some great results. It is one of the best solutions to one of the biggest problems parents have.

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