Child’s Targeted Behavior Problems

by James Lehman, MSW For many children, behavior problems are not universal; they’re targeted. Targeted at dad, at mom, at the stepmother, at the fiancé, at a sibling. The following two case studies reveal how normally charming and compliant children can become defiant or even abusive with one person in the family. James Lehman examines […]

Disciplining Kids: The Secret To Avoiding Power Struggles

I listened to a 1-minute video about giving children choices. My issue with choices is when my 3- year old daughter doesn’t make a choice. I ask her calmly to make a choice. She says “NOTHING”. So I calmly say “ok, then I’ll make the choice for you”. I make the choice, and she has […]

Lying Children: The Best Way To Promote Honesty (Part 1)

My child is 5 and has started to lie. Honesty is very important to me! I have caught him many times lying, sometimes about the silliest things. How can I stop him from doing this? It can be disconcerting when a child lies. I know that I immediately envision a life of crime for my […]

Teaching Through Love Instead of Fear – Emotional Needs

One of the big issues in schools today is “bullying.” Parents and teachers struggle daily with how to stop this behavior. Without realizing it, adults teach bullying behavior to children by modeling it when they use the threat of their physical size or power to make children do things. When I hear a parent counting […]

Raise your hand if you never yell!

Part 1 of a two-part poll I conduct with my audiences: “Raise your hand if you were reared by a mother who never yelled, yet you consistently obeyed her. To clarify, your mother may have raised her voice emphatically on occasion, but never broke the sound barrier with it.” In a recent audience of slightly […]

Defiant 8-year-old

At some point, all parents are faced with concerns related to defiant or disrespectful children. These broad terms often refer to and can be applied to a variety of specific behaviors. If you have a defiant, disobedient, disrespectful, sassy, or rude child with impulse control or self control issues, you may relate to these parents […]

How to Handle Other People’s Children

An oft-heard subject of controversy is disciplining other peoples’ kids. What do you do when your children have playmates at your home who are misbehaving? I don’t think there is an easy answer to this difficulty. I have heard some parents advising that, “Whatever happens in my house is under my jurisdiction, and all of […]

Positive Disciplining

Positive Disciplining yields real results!